JohnSol Pr0n
by Kurotalia13
Summary: Umm wow yeah. This is my weird OTP (result of roleplaying) and I just write things that are not appropriate for immature viewers for them sometimes. AKA porn. This is serious hardcore lemony goodness. Seriously. It's rated M for a reason...
1. Pr0n 1

**JohnSol Pr0n Story #1**

**Pairing - John Egbert x Sollux Captor (it's my weird OTP that happened as a result of roleplaying)**

**Rating - M (this is kind of umm... Porn. Yeah)**

**(Sadly, this is literally the longest thing I've ever written at 4,292 words)**

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Sollux: Finally confess that you're flushed for Feferi

Okay, you can do this. The game is over and the universes have been reset into this new planet called Alterra. It's basically a mish-mash of Earth and Alternia. Anyways, you've reset two entire universes (with some help of course), so telling this one girl that you're flushed for her really shouldn't be that fucking hard. And it isn't. You're just going to walk right up to her and tell her that you feel red for her. Yup. That's what you're definitely going to do very soon. Very very soon. Okay, man up, you're doing this. Deep breaths, in and out, calm down, okay fuck this. You are going to knock on this door right this fucking second damnit. So you do.

"What the shell d'ya want lil' Captor." Unfortunately for you, Meenah rudely answers instead of your flushcrush. Damn.

"Jutht wanted two hang out with FF for a bit." You succeed in not stuttering as well as sounding casual without blushing. Congratulations.

"Yeah, yeah, do whatever the glub ya fuckin' want jus' keep it down, I'm try'na do shit over here." She stalks up to her room after pointing you down the hall into the living room.

Feferi is humming to herself while she brushes her hair and talks to someone on Trollian. The dim light shines off her raven locks and makes her face seem to glow in a heavenly light. Your breath hitches in your throat and your heart skips a beat as you just stand there and stare at her. It's enough to make anybody feel pathetic in comparison, and you are definitely no exception. Here you are, standing awkwardly lanky and tall with barely any meat on your bones, extremely pale and two hairs shy of being a Holocaust survivor. Okay, that was extreme, no offense to anybody, really, the author is deeply sorry. That's just what it makes you feel like compared to her plush rump. Her horns even look polished. Yours are probably dull, gog, this was a terrible idea maybe you can leave before-

"Oh, hey Sollux! I didn't see you there, glub!" She smiles that radiant, shark-toothed smile and you think your bloodpumper just melted then and there.

"H-hi FF..." You can't even think properly, oh gog. Feferi looks at you oddly when you just keep staring at her and don't say anything else.

"So... Did you maybe want to talk about... Something?" She pauses uncertainly.

"Oh! Umm... Actually I kind of wanted two... tell you thomething... really important..." You trail off, a terrible mustard-yellow blush gracing your bony cheeks. Feferi probably gets what you're talking about but lets you take a deep breath before continuing.

"Well you know, after... Aradia and all that thtuff on the meteor I... We thtarted hanging out a lot and... I really liked that and... Fuck, FF, I think I'm flushed for you. Like, tho legitimately flushed for you that I can't think properly when you walk intwo the room and when you thmile I jutht can't take it and I want two hug you and kiss you and every thingle time you thay anything my bloodpumper jutht thtopth becauthe you're jutht tho perfect in every thingle way that it shouldn't even be poththible." Your face is probably the darkest shade it's ever been in your whole life and you can't believe you're actually telling her this.

"Oh, Sollux..." She walks over to you and gives you a tender hug, and you already know the answer. "I'm so sorry I jus-"

"No, it'th fine, it'th ok. I wath thtupid two think you would actually like me like that. I'll jutht go now." You push her away gently and start to leave.

"Sollux, wait!"

You ignore her. You just completely ignore her. Well, you try. You can't though, and it brings tears to your eyes. She's such a great person that even though she knows you like her she would be willing to still be your friend. It makes you feel miserable inside. Why did you even think she might return your feelings? And fuck, you're pathetic for just leaving like the coward you are. She didn't even go after you, which is for the best. You won't be able to look at her anymore without hurting. After you finally reach your hive after around two hours of walking and self hating, you go straight to your room a fall on top of your bed. Now you have to wonder: is this what heartbreak feels like?

Sollux: Continue the pity party

What else would you be fucking doing?

Sollux: Be John

Author decides to let you be John because Sollux is in a state of emotional distress. Also, you're going somewhere. Where might that somewhere be?

John: Visit Sollux

Ah, yes, you're going over to Sollux's house. You haven't seen him in a while, you wonder how I he's doing? The two of you aren't the closest of friends, but that doesn't mean you don't get along. In fact, you two get along rather nicely, but he lives kind of far away from you so it's harder to hang out when he doesn't even make the effort to do so. When you reach the door you knock two times in appreciation for your friend's love of the number two. After waiting for a bit you frown and realize that he isn't coming to answer the door, but you know he's home because you're just magical like that. You walk right in, because you can.

The place is pretty neat and pretty messy at the same time. There are organized piles of random shit on the ground and most everything seems to be near it's rightful place. It could be better, but it could also be worse. Right, you're here to see Sollux. You walk down the hallway of the small house to his room. Before you get the chance to knock on the door you can hear him talking to himself.

"... Gog, you're th-thuch a thtupid f-fucking idiot! Why would you even th-think that FF would actually l-like you that way?" His voice is thick with emotion.

So logically, you don't bother knocking and just waltz right on into his room. He hears the door click open immediately and his head snaps up to look at you. Your eyes widen as they meet his, which aren't shielded by his shades for once. The light in the room is off so you can see the faint glow the bi-coloured orbs give off, making the yellow tears on his face seem to glisten. He looks absolutely terrible right now with his face covered in tears and his hair (and clothes) messed up. You wonder what happened? It doesn't take long for Sollux to snap out of it and look down, blocking your view of his eyes (which you must admit are kind of beautiful- I MEAN AWESOME) and hugging a pillow pet to his chest. Wait, Sollux has pillow pets? The one he's hugging right now is a dolphin. The other two are a frog and, of course, a bee. You decide not to judge him for having pillow pets. After all, they're really fucking soft and you don't think Alternia had them. Hold on, maybe they all represent something! Like, the bee is obviously Sollux, the frog must be... Aradia (at least you think that's her name) and the dolphin... Well, the dolphin would have to be a seadweller, obviously, and seeing as Sollux kind of hates Eridan, that leaves Feferi. Oh dear, he must be having girl problems. No shit, Sherlock, your heard him talking to himself through the door.

"What do you want, JN?" He sound like he's trying to be irritated and failing miserably.

"Umm... Do you want to talk about anything?" Okay, Rose told you to be empathetic in situations like these. Empathy. EMPATHY.

"No, jutht g-go away." He hiccups and burries his face into Feferi the second.

"Sollux..." You frown and go sit next to him on his bed. "I'm only trying to help... Just because you're hurt doesn't mean you have to stay hurt." He shakes his head.

"Well two bad you can't fucking help becauthe I'm fucking heartbroken and I know she wath never going two bee flushed for me anywayth tho I don't know why I even bothered. I should have jutht kept it all two mythelf and we would thtill bee cool. Nobody ith ever going two like me like that." He slowly leans over and rests on your shoulder. You put an arm around him and let him cry quietly to himself while muttering things about how he should have known and nobody is ever going to love him.

"Shut up." You interrupt his pity fest. "Plenty of people like you, you just haven't found the one who likes you like THAT yet." He laughs dryly, humorlessly.

"Yeah right..."

"Sol, don't be like that..."

You hug his smaller form to your chest. Sure, he's definitely taller than you, but he's also thinner that just about everyone. And you just noticed probably the only thing him and Vriska have in common: a small torso and pretty long legs. Surprisingly, he doesn't push you away or anything. In fact, he does the opposite. He snuggles into you and wraps his bony arms around your torso. You realize that at some point you had started stroking his hair and he had started purring. Though you find it adorable, you manage to hold your giggles in because as a troll, purring probably isn't weird at all. Sollux sighs and looks up at you. The tears are absent but his eyes are still glowing.

"John?" He almost sounds uncertain and his cheeks tint a light shade of yellow.

"Yeah?" You pass it off as a result of his crying.

"Make me feel loved."

His ears point down as your cheeks turn a bright red. Is he suggesting what you think he is? Because if that's the case, you're kind of uncomfortable with that thought. It's not that you have anything against the guy, it's just that, well, he's a GUY. You're kind of a virgin and you're not sure you want your first time to be with him. Also, you think he's a virgin, too? The idea just makes you feel more than a little uncomfortable. But he's your friend, and if you have to be the rebound for him, you'll do it, because you want to be the best friend you could possibly be, just like how your dad wants to be the best dad he can possibly be. You take a deep breath and look down at Sollux curled up against your chest.

"Well... If you think that's the only way you'll feel bette- MPH!"

You find yourself pinned under the Gemini troll as he meets your lips with his own black ones. You're about to protest when you remember that you gave him permission. He pulls away and looks at you with a smirk on his face and you come to the realization that you're experiencing a Captor mood swing. He kisses you again, sliding a hand up your shirt and deepening the kiss. You don't really know what to do so you just kind of don't move. Soon he gets sick of that and brings your hands up to his horns. You guess they're sensitive? Oh lord Jesus, that was a sexy moan. Was that really Sollux? Holy crap, it was.

Sollux's hands are roaming and exploring your chest. Soon he gets fed up with that and lifts your shirt (as well as his own) off with his psionics. The two of you take in each other's differences for a bit before you rub one of the scars lining his rib cage. He gasps and bites his lip almost shyly before shaking his head and brushing his finger over your nipple. You blush, not really sure what the two of you are supposed to be doing, really. Wait, what is he doing now? Why is he getting closer to your neck like some sort of vampire? Oh, he's just nibbling at your neck softly. You let out a moan because you just realized that your neck is really fucking sensitive.

John: Be Sollux

You can't believe you're doing this, but fuck is it hot. It almost feels like you're betraying Feferi by doing this, but you know you aren't so you'll just keep on doing it. You and John are really inexperienced at this sort of thing (considering you're both virgins) and the only thing you have to go off of are porn videos from Alternia, but you think you're doing pretty good. You sit John back up and crawl off the bed, kneeling between his legs after taking both his pants and ghostbusters boxers off. His bulge is definitely something else and it makes you flinch before swallowing the lump in your throat. Gathering a small amount of courage, you grasp the base of it lightly in your hand and pull up. John lets out a loud moan and you smirk, flicking your forked tongue over the tip. You lower your face and take it's head into your mouth, running your tongue over the slit and licking the pre-genetic material off. John is already panting at this point and moans loudly when you take as much of it as you can into your mouth. Soon, you're bobbing your head up and down like a pro and your hand wanders to where his nook would be. You don't find one and try not to act surprised when your fingers brush against a pair of wrinkly spheres. John gasps and his hands find themselves at your horns again, making you purr once more. Right now you are basically a living, breathing vibrator. You fondle the balls that you now dub 'shameglobes' and smirk as you hear him just losing it.

Not that he's released yet. He looks like he has a pretty high tolerance level. You decide that he can't be the only one having any fun and slide your hand down your pants, rubbing at the folds of your nook. Your twin bulges haven't unsheathed themselves, but they're definitely getting there. You grunt into his bulge when your fingers find the sensitive golden bud and start rubbing it. It is suddenly decided, by you, that this is getting boring. You lick his bulge from the base to the tip one last time before removing your mouth completely and shoving him back onto the bed. He glares at you but then notices your fingers coated in your own genetic material. You poke at his lips and he mimics the action you were previously performing on his bulge, making you groan. Your hands clumsily pull your pants off, leaving you in just your panties. Yes, panties. Trolls really go with either one, seeing as TZ prefers boxers. Just as you didn't comment on John's ghostbusters boxers, he doesn't comment on your bee panties. The yellow fabric is strained as your bulges have recently unsheathed themselves. It's already getting hints of terrible stains, so you pull those off, too. Now you two are just sitting in front of each other in just your socks. John's are white and yours are (obviously) mismatched with red and blue. You open your mouth to say something as John is taking off his glasses, but close it again quickly, not really knowing what to say.

Sollux: Be John again

All you can think of is how cute Sollux's panties are, because come on, holy fuck. He's just sitting there shyly and blushing while his... tentacles are writhing against each other. They look really weird. Who even has tentacles? People don't have tentacles, what's up with that? Then again, he also has scars on his sides. You think maybe those are from his grub legs. Karkat told you about grubs at one point, but not in much detail. You glance down at your dick and look back at Sollux's tentacles. With a random bout of courage, you reach over and grasp one of the tentacles.

"Why do you have tentacles?"

He doesn't answer your admittedly stupid question because he too busy gasping. It's actually pretty cute how he's hunched up and trying not to moan. His eyes are screwed up and his long lashes are brushing against his cheekbones. You slowly stroke his tentacle and he gives up on his attempts to keep quiet. Soon he's panting but he takes a breath to answer you.

"They're my t-tentabulgeth and I have two becauthe I'm a thtupid mutant." He groans out while you frown.

"You're not stupid..."

You let go of his bulge and kiss him sweetly on the lips. He sighs and leans into it before breaking for air and lying down with his head on his Aradia pillow pet as you've dubbed it. His eyes are closed as he reaches up and fondles one of his horns. Sollux's other hand wanders south and strokes the first bulge he touches. Small moans fill the room and you would be lying if you said he isn't turning you on even more. It doesn't take long for you to crawl over and- is that a vagina!? Well, shit, it really is. You lean over and kind of just poke your index finger inside of him, making him gasp. You wonder if trolls call it something that isn't 'vagina' because that word makes you feel awkward.

"Why do you have a vagina?"

"That's a t-terrible name, what the f-fuck. It'th my n-nook and why wouldn't I h-have one?" Okay, all trolls are hermaphrodites apparently. You're not one to judge.

You just hum and lower your head to the tip of the unoccupied bulge and- wait nevermind, it's not where it was and you can feel that it got impatient and joined your finger in Sollux's nook. How rude. You lick from where the bulge enters the nook to the base and back to realize that it came out of his nook at the action. A glance up at the surprisingly quiet Sollux shows that he's biting his lip and gripping the sheets tightly. You chuckle and take half of his bulge into your mouth. It wriggles around a bit and feels pretty weird, but you'll make do. He's actually a lot smaller than you when it comes to nether regions. His bulge is coated in yellow cum that tastes oddly like honey and lemon.

When you don't move for a while he puts and hand in your hair and pushes you down on him, making you remember what you were doing. You add another finger to his nook and starts pumping in and out of him at a steady, even pace. A low purr rumbles from his chest and encourages you to start bobbing your head, much like he was doing for you before. You start scissoring him, occasionally rubbing a small nub that's probably the troll equivalent of a clitoris. He lets out a loud moan and pushes your head down even further down on his bulge. It occurs to you that his other one is now unattended and you grope blindly until you find it and start jerking him off. Sollux's breaths are getting shorter and sharper and he's covered in a thin layer of sweat. His purring has grown louder than you thought possible, but that's nothing compared to the volume of his moans. Soon he's groaning something about a bucket under his bed. Not able to question him even if you wanted to, you reach under his bed and find- guess what? A bucket. His nook clenches around your fingers and you (somewhat awkwardly) position the pail after you remove your mouth from his bulge. He releases into said cleaning apparatus and sighs. You're suddenly glad you got the bucket in time because that is definately a lot of cum, holy shit. Also, you just remembered the large erection you've had pretty much this entire time.

"J-John..." He looks over at you with half lidded eyes. "Thorry, I..." He sits up shakily and pushes you onto your back on his bed.

"Hey, it's okay." You smile at him, not wanting to abuse his privates more than you already have. He is having none of your bullshit as he lightly... paps your dick? You moan at the strange gesture and watch him crawl on top of you.

John: Be Sollux

That was the best orgasm you've ever had and you would be a terrible person for not returning the favor. Not that you've had too many orgasms yourself, but you've filled your own pail a fair share of times. Right now you're kind of kneeling above John's bulge, not sure if you want to go through with this. A pair of hands rest themselves on your waist and you decide that was the push you needed to decide. You don't bother going slow and take his whole bulge into your nook in the span of about two seconds. You hunch your shoulders and place your palms on his chest for support as John lets out a surprised moan.

"Oh my fuck, you're fucking huge, godamnit!" You're shaking from the overwhelming feeling of being so full.

"Sollux, w-we don't have to- AHH!" You interrupted him by lifting yourself up and coming back down on his bulge.

"I'm n-not jutht going two l-leave you h-hanging." This is so much harder than it looks on the porn sites. "... Get on top of me."

It doesn't take him any more convincing and he flips you over in a matter of seconds. He doesn't even wait for your approval on anything, he just starts pounding into your over-sensitive after-orgasm nook. You moan loudly and twist your hands in his hair, muttering obscenities and his name breathlessly. He does the same, whispering in your ear sensually. Your mouth finds itself at his neck, nibbling at his sweet spot and making him moan. His tongue runs up your pointed and you accidentally bite down hard enough to draw blood, which you immediately lap up in an attempt to heal it more quickly. You note the increased volume of his moans and curiously bite him again. A smirk reaches your face and you scatter bite marks around his collarbone until he hits your g-spot and your eyes roll back in pleasure, not able to focus on anything anymore as you let out the loudest moans in the history of time. John gets that he's doing something right and mercilessly pounds into you, and soon you find yourself nearing the edge. Luckily for you, so is John, and after he releases into you, you do the same into the bucket. The two of you are quiet for a while until you break the silence.

"Mmm... Fuck FF..." You become the big spoon and cuddle into John's back.

"Don't you mean 'fuck me?'" Oh, he's good.

"Already did that and guethth who lotht all feeling in hith legth?"

John laughs a little bit and carefully pushes the bucket back under the bed. You'll deal with emptying it later. He lets you be the big spoon for a while before slowly sitting up and pulling his boxers on, handing you your 'cute lil bee panties' as he's just called them. You shrug and slips them on before John lies back down next to you and snuggles into your chest. He wraps his arms around you and you do the same, resting your chin on his head. You sigh.

"But really, who needs her?"

"I dunno... Glad I was a good rebound."

"No way, you're the real deal. FF can go do whatever she wantth."

"... I love you..." John has officially come out of the closet.

"Flushed for you two, honeybee..."

The two of you drift off to dreamland.

~~EXTENDED ENDING~~

Sollux: Bee Psiioniic

Holy fucking shit.

Not only do you think that was an awesome bee pun, your youngest just got laid. You have your ear up to the door of Sollux's room like a weirdo and you just feel so proud of him. It sounded like he was on bottom though, you might have to talk to him about that. Shit, they actually sounded pretty hot. You feel really guilty for being turned on by this. It's a shame you don't have a Matesprit, but you don't think you can just jerk off now.

Looks like its time to call your absolutely terrible Kismessis the Condesce.

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**A/N- Please note that this is not going to be a series, I just write too much porn for these two and I feel that it should all go into one place.**


	2. Pr0n 2 Chapter 2

**JohnSol Pr0n 2 Chapter 1**

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**A/N- Yeah, this is turning out a lot longer than I thought it would, so I'm going to split it into several chapters. The next one probably won't have any sexy-times, but I tried to do some video-sex or whatever. This isn't even half of what I've written so far, and I'm nowhere near finished, so umm... Yeah, this is going to a lot longer than my first one.**

**Also, please remember that none of these will ever be linked unless it says Chapter.**

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Sollux: Wonder why you agreed to becoming Kanaya and Rose's project

Yes, you are now their project. Kanaya wanted a doll and Rose needed to do some research on social things, you don't even remember. All you know is that for once you're going to have to wear something that isn't a shirt two sizes too big and one of your two pairs of pants. You're currently standing in the middle of the Maryam living room in only your 'cute lil bee panties' as John has dubbed them. You take a moment to think of your Matesprit in an attempt to distract yourself from the youngest jade-blood measuring your waist. Actually, wait, no, don't think about John, that'll just remind you of certain activities that happened last night. That would be a really bad way of accidentally revealing your secret relationship with Egbert. Yeah, secret. Mostly because John doesn't want everyone to know he's really been a homosexual the whole time.

Okay, maybe you'll just relive the day he confessed to you.

- 4 months ago -

It was the 12th Perigee party that the Leijons decided to host to teach the humans we talk to about troll customs. Apparently they have a holiday very similar to ours called 'Gristmas' or something like that. There are some different customs, though. They stopped putting candles on their trees a LONG time ago and they hand out presents to everyone. In your continent of Alternia you still used candles and instead of gifts, you just spent the day with people you know, go out, and buy shit for each other there. Generally there are no surprises for what you get.

Another difference would be what they call 'mistletoe.' First off, silly name. A missile that's a toe? No, wait, it's a plant, never mind. In Alternia there was something similar called the 'fidem root,' which you have been told by Rose means 'faith root' if you take the language called Latin into account. On the rest of the planet, the two people under the mistletoe kiss and are just done with it. Back in Alternia, the two people under the root must tell each other three secrets and faith that the other won't tell. Moirails and Matesprits are quite fond of the root, but Kismesises run in terror from it for fear the other may learn their secrets. It's a lot more meaningful than the other custom, and it's a shame Nepeta mentioned it because now if anyone is caught under it, they have to say secrets and then kiss, which seems like a bit much.

Oh well. Everyone was dressed nicely, in either a tux or a dress, depending on their preference. TZ is in a tux, so are Meenah and Vriska. You were just standing by the champagne fountain with a glass in your hand, sipping it like a cool guy. You're pretty happy you decided to wear a tux instead of that dress Kanaya thinks would have looked great in you. Let's face it, it probably would. Anyways, you were glad about this because sipping champagne in a tux made you feel rich. Which you weren't. You're never rich. You're always poor and only Tavros, Karkat, and Aradia have it worse than you. Well, AA used to. Now she's in a coma for some stupid mistake you made. Fef is nice and paying for her hospital bills because she's like fucking royalty.

Damn, now you're depressed. You didn't mean to send her into a coma. In fact, you feel terrible that it happened like how it did. You were just messing around with your psionics when she sneaks up and surprises you to give you a two year anniversary gift. In the span of, let's say... half a minute, she's thrown backwards and crushed by some large object, hitting her head in the worst way possible. You're glad Karkat was coming over because otherwise there's no way you were going to stop freaking out on your own. She barely got to the hospital in time and you've been kind of down since that day. How else are you supposed to feel when you almost kill your Matesprit? Aradia has been out for about a year now, and even if she does fight her way out of her coma you don't think you could bear to be with her again.

Plus, you might have a huge flushcrush on that one guy who just do happens to be 'no homo.' You have the worst luck, Vriska would laugh at you. Not that you care what the spider bitch thinks. You take a sip of champagne to feel better about yourself when your train of thought is suddenly interrupted. By Egbert of all people. Wow, you really hate this party thing. It's dumb and all it's doing is making you feel worse about yourself.

"Hey, Sollux, what's up?" He grins cheekily as he gets some champagne of his own. Probably because he doesn't want you to feel like the only idiot drinking champagne when there's beer and rum to be had.

"Nothing much, jutht thinking about shit." A sympathetic look tells you he knows the basic idea of what you're thinking about. "Don't give me that look, I'm fine."

"Oh, s-sorry... How do you like the party so far? I think it's been pretty good."

"It'th kind of lame for a Leijon party but whatever."

"Oh." There's a moment of silence before John speaks up again. "Hey, isn't that the fidel root or something?" You follow his gaze and a yellow hue adorns your face.

"Fidem..." John looks kind of stupidly happy.

"So... I'll go first?"

"I'll do it... Mind you, thethe are going two bee kind of nathty. One, I watch porn thometimeth. Well, often." His face is starting to tint a pink colour. Good. He's uncomfortable and so are you. "Two, the firtht time I mathturbated my pthionicth went haywire and blew up my huthktop." That was really embarrassing, wow. Why are you even telling him this? His face is literally bright red. "And three... I feel red for a guy." Who is you.

"Oh... Well, I actually like cake if it's not Betty Crocker." That's a shocker. "I still don't know what the big deal about buckets is." Oh dear lord. "And... I like bunnies a lot."

"That'th not a thecret."

"Fine, fine... I actually like someone." That took you by surprise. John Egbert is notorious for pranking and not doing romance. "And it's you."

At this point he had leaned in for the kiss and your lips met. What. What is happening. Before he gets the impression that you don't like him back, you press your lips against his lightly, returning the kiss in a not so obvious way. Your eyelids were about to flutter closed when he pulled away, whispering something about pestering you later before leaving. Regaining your composure (minus the yellow streak on your face), you continued to sip your champagne like nothing happened. Nobody seemed to notice this exchange and the party went on, you still being the antisocial weirdo you were and still are. True to his word, John contacted you on pesterchum after the party.

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering twinArmaggedons [TA] at 2:22 -

EB: Hey, Sollux!

EB: I hope I got the time right for you, hehe.

EB: You're still awake, right?

EB: Shoot, I bet it's too late.

EB: I'll pester you tomorrow I guess.

TA: 2hiit 2orry ii'm here

TA: ju2t tryiing two fiigure out iif thii2 ii2 2ome 2ort of me22ed up prank

EB: What!? I would never! :B

TA: ii cant tell iif youre lyiing or not you know

EB: Oh, sorry. I'm not though.

TA: ... really?

EB: Well of course! I wouldn't do this kind of prank. It'd be more Dave's style if he was a prankster.

EB: Which he isn't.

EB: But you already know that.

EB: Sollux?

TA: ii love you

EB: Oh. I love you too?

EB: Except I thought trolls use a different word?

TA: ii looked up the human one for you

EB: That's really nice of you, hehe.

EB: ...

EB: I'm flushed for you.

TA: haha ok

TA: 2o are we...

TA: ju2t a 2ec

EB: You can use troll terms you know.

EB: I'll still understand.

TA: ok are we mate2priit2 now?

EB: Well I guess but...

TA: let me gue22

TA: you dont want two tell everybody that youve been a homo2exual the whole tiime

EB: Woah, how'd you know?

TA: ii have my ways~

EB: Hehe, you used a squiggle~

TA: cant escape the 2quiiggles~

EB: So much squiggling~

TA: ii2 that even a word

EB: No~

TA: diidnt thiink 2o~

EB: Wait so you watch porn? :o

TA: of all thiing2 two a2k me about

TA: but yeah ii already told you

EB: I've never done that before. What's it like?

TA: well gee there are the2e naked people and they moan and they fuck

EB: Oh.

TA: what were you expectiing?

EB: I dunno...

TA: hey diidnt pe2terchum/trolliian/whatever iin2tal a viideo chat thiing?

EB: Oh yeah!

- ectoBiologist [EB] invited twinArmaggedons [TA] to video chat at 2:34 -

- twinArmaggedons [TA] accepted ectoBiologist's [EB]'s video chat at 2:34 -

Your screen flicks to John's face without his glasses on. It's pretty late so he's wearing his god tier pajamas. In the top right corner you can see yourself in all of your toothpick-y glory. Jeez, you really need to gain some weight. Johns smiles and waves at you.

"Wow, I can't believe this thing exists now!"

"Yeah, thame here..." You lick your dry black lips in a seductive manner, making John blush the slightest bit.

"Hey, so... About the porn..."

"What, you wanna know thome good thiteth or thomething?" John shakes his head. "Oh, tho you want thomething more perthonal, eh?"

"Y-yeah, I mean if it's cool with y- are you unzipping your pants?"

"Well yeah, how elthe are we going two do thith?" He's obviously never done anything similar to this in any way and kind of shyly pulls his pants off before walking over to lock his door. "Jutht relax..." You're about to reach down to the folds of your nook when John speaks up.

"What does your underwear look like?" You blink at his request and slide the undergarment off of your legs. They're just plain white with one of your purple bees printed on the front. You bring them up to the camera on your husktop and peek around them to see his face. He looks a little surprised before giggling.

"You have cute lil' bee panties! But that's a little weird because it's girl underwear..."

"There'th thpethific genderth for undergarmentth on Earth?" John just nods and you make a humming noise as you reach down to your nook again. "Fuck, I haven't touched mythelf in forever..." You mumble when your finger brushes against the lips.

- Present Day -

Right, not thinking about your video-sex with John, not thinking about your anything-sex with John. You sigh, almost in audibly, but Kanaya catches it anyways.

"What's on your mind?"

"N-nothing in particular really." You can hear the clock ticking and you're pretty sure you're blushing just the tiniest bit.

"Really, Sollux, you mustn't lie to us if you're going to be so obvious." Rose speaks up from reading her book.

"Fine." You sigh. "Jutht thinking about my Matethprit..." Kanaya nearly pokes you with a needle (she finished measurements while you were off down memory lane).

"Matesprit?"

"Yeah. He doethn't want anybody two know about it though, tho I won't tell you hith name." Kanaya gives you a small smile.

"Well then we won't pry. I'm finished with taking your measurements and the general shape of your body. The clothes should be finished by tomorrow and we should meet up at my hive an hour before school starts in the morning." She sends you off on your way and you pull your clothes on after she take the fabric off of you. You start walking home and let your mind wander as your feet carry you back home.

- Back to Memory Lane -

"... I don't know how to do this..." John admits when he looks at the screen to see you reclining in your computer chair with your hand between your legs.

"Jutht let your imagination run wild..." You let out a lighthearted chuckle. "Pretend I'm over there, right with you. I'm jutht thitting on your lap and running my handth all over your body... I lean down and nibble at your neck a little, reaching down to thtroke your bulge..." Your voice is low and soft. A peek at the screen shows him panting and red-faced.

"How about you, though? You can't jutht thit there, I'd get bored..."

"I-I would run my hands through your hair and suck on your horns..."

"Ahh, fuck~" You moan out, bringing your hand to your horns and rubbing them. Your bulges unsheathe themselves and you move your other hand from fingering your nook to rubbing at the little bud of pleasure hidden in the folds.

"And I would pin you to the bed and feel every bit of you... Rubbing at everything I could find..." The hand at your horns trails down your body to rub the sensitive grub scars on your side. "Then I'd spread your legs apart and trace my fingers on your thighs and just... watch you squirm under me..."

"Oh god, J-John~" As if you aren't squirming enough right now. Your psionic energy works at your horns while your hand goes from your grub scars to pumping up and down on your bulge.

"But then I'd go back to your horns, because I know how much you like that..." You suddenly feel guilty for not saying anything in response.

"And oh my g-god, I would m-moan even m-more than I already wath becauthe f-fuck you're good at that... I'd bite at your neck th-tho hard I'd draw blood," John lets out a surpressed moan, not wanting to wake his dad up. "And my hipth would buck up, wanting m-more..."

"B-but I wouldn't g-give you that and I'd just keep t-teasing you... Drawing circles around your... Nook?" You give him a sound of approval. Looks like he did a little bit of research. "Drawing c-circles around your n-nook..."

"Before I get fed up and grab your writht, f-flipping uth over tho I'm on t-top..." You let out a loud moan, not even caring if you'll wake your family up. "And I'd go d-down and lick the t-tip of your weird h-human bulge." John is panting heavily and the expression on his face just turns you on even more.

"Then I'd p-put my hands on your h-horns and just start r-rubbing slow circles on th-them..."

"Oh, f-fuck~" You moan out his name. "God, I would j-jutht thtart deepthroating you th-then and there~"

"S-Sollux, oh god~" His breathing is getting more laboured. "I- f-fuck it, I would p-pull you up and just th-thrust into you-"

"And I-I would -Ahh~ th-thtart riding y-you like a f-fucking b-bull~"

Your second bulge decided that now was a good time to enter your nook and you buck your hips up, wishing that you and John were really doing this. The two of you cant even form proper sentences anymore, so you just keep stroking yourselves and moaning for each other until John finishes, you releasing in the bucket you have with a scream soon after. Panting is the only sound filling the room as you try to slow your racing bloodpumper. John speaks first.

"W-wow..." You chuckle.

"That wath the betht..."

"Maybe we could d-do it for real sometime?"

"Fuck yeth, if you're thith good over the internet who the fuck knowth what the real thing'll bee like..." John sighs.

"Well, night Sol. I lo- I'm flushed for you~" You smile.

"Night, fl- love you, two~" John shuts his computer off and your screen goes dark. A content sigh leaves your lips and you lethargically slump over to your recuperacoon, sliding into it and drifting off.

- Present Day Again -

You don't realize you're at your hive until you bump into the door. Your 'dad' in a way, the Psiioniic, opens the door as if you had knocked. He asks you if you had forgotten the keys, then says you're stupid if that was why you knocked because your keys are your psionic powers. You just shake your head and walk over to your room. Psii, however, calls out to you with a mention of your regular sessions with John online. A yellow bush adorns your face and you really wish it was possible to hide something like that from your family, but then again, you're a screamer. Fuck, why did you have to be thinking about that, now you're all hot and bothered. You can already tell that your nook is damp.

The first thing you do when you reach your room is grab a set of doom pajamas and head to the shower. You ignore the hot water tap and stand in the freezing cold, looking down at yourself. The temperature succeeds in turning you off and you just stand there, wondering how long it takes to get pneumonia. After a bit of that, you call yourself stupid and clean your hair for the first time in quite a while. It looks a little tiny bit long, but Kanaya probably doesn't want you to cut it. Yeah, you just remembered the project. You have to wear increasingly more feminine clothes over the course of two weeks, the last day conveniently ending on Formalstuck. Look out for a Captor in a dress. You wonder what your first outfit will be? Probably just the same as usual but with a shirt that isn't two sizes too big. Fuck, you're regretting agreeing with this. You've always felt a little awkward about your body type and showing it off isn't exactly what you had in mind. Oh well, you already agreed to it so... You return to your room and slip inside your recuperacoon at once, setting the internal alarm to an hour and a half earlier than usual.

Let's try to be optimistic for once and hope everything turns out okay.


End file.
